Battles you can't hear...
Battles you can't see....
Battles you can't imagine...

They are all around you..
They depend on your prayer...

and what have i been doing?

It just comes to a point whereby i don't know where to turn to now.. perhaps it's a crossroad.. or maybe not.. Things and decisions thrusted into my face, demanding my immediate attentions.. living everyday as though it's a monotonous routine..

I'm fustrated...
I'm desperate for revival...
I'm thristing...

But i've done nothing to change it...

It is lack of determination? or is it lost of hope? or APATHY.. stubborness within me..

God, i want to be completely honest with You... I know somehow, somewhere, something is wrong within my heart.. how can i be so passionate one second, and the next being so worldly? i feel like a liar, a hypocrite.. i don't want just to have head knowledge.. I want You..

You.. more than anything...
You.. more than my studies..
You.. more than my heart..
You.. more than my dreams..
You.. more than my desires..
You.. more than my life..

Lord, i remember Your words.. when i'm weak, You're strong.. I'm small, but You are big.. I'm sorry God, for not living the life You wanted me to live.. for wasting precious time away.. for not being discerning.. for getting into troubles that even now i do not know how to face..

But, let me be like Lucy... always believing, no matter what she sees with her eyes.. because she believe with her heart.. Father, i believe in my heart... You'll pick me up from this fall.. and lead me to the way of righteousness..

Hebrews 12:11 says "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

I admit i have a doubtful heart..
Doubtful of all my decisions..
Thinking am i following my will or God's will..
But i believe God is real..

He changed my life..
He gave me things i never thought i would receive in this life..
He led me through each new and exciting day...

I'm thankful i'm alive..
I'm thankful i've come to know my Father in Heaven

thank You...

Pearl~